Anyways so let me begin…. It was a normal evening. Anton had already gone to bed because it was 11:11 PM and he likes to go to bed early aso he can wake up at 5 AM and work out or whatever because he’s that kind of person. But I was still awake because I wasn;t tired at alland I’m a bit of a nightowl. So I was like “Hmm I want to watch a movie but I’ll watch it with the volume really low so Anton doesn’t wake up from it being too loud” (I am a genius). Although he looks like a corpse who’s been dead for like a hundred years when he’s sleeping, he sleeps really lightly and wakes up at the slightest noises so it makes sneaking around in the night nearly impossible but that’s kidn of besides the point hahaha.

I looked at our collection of VHS tapes, our collection is nothing to sneeze at but it was really dusty so I almost did sneeze! I HAVE TO CLEAN IT LATER OKAY anyway so while I was looking I spied an unfamiliar-looking tape. The cover was completely black with nothing on it, and it was really torn up and just in an actual state of disheveledness and it smelled kinda funky but yeah. I pulled it out and even the front and back were blank. “This is spooky” I thought to myself, but I was curious so I put it in rhe VCR to see what would happen.

I sat down on the couch as the tape began to play. At first the VCR was making all sorts of weird noises, and I was like “Damn this might not work” so I started to brainstorm other movies I could watch. I almost decided to watch the Cardiacs movie “All That Glitters is a Maresnest” because Cardiacs are hte best and Tim Smith is really cool. But in the time it took for me to make that decision the tape began to actually play so I sat back down.

And this is what happened next okay so basically it started playing an episode of my most favorite show ever Count Duckula which was SO WEIRD because number one it started from the middle of the episode and also two I didn’t even use the remote control or anything it literally just started playing on its own which was super freaky and I was PROPER SPOOKED I TELL YOU!!!!!! I was like “What the heck!!!!!!!” but my curiousity kept me glued to my seat and I continued to watch the tape play out. But okay this is where it gets REALLY TRULY SPOOKY AND JUST DOWNRIGHT EVIL!!! So the rest of the episode (it was the episode A Fright At the Opera by the way) played out as normal and although I was a little bit perturbed and quite frankly confused I was actually really positively quite bored since I’d seen that episode a few other times. Plus there are way better episodes than that one anyway haha but that’s besides the point. As the end credits rolled for that episode I could’ve sworn I heard demonic evil whispering but I shrugged it off as our TV being weird because it was old and sometimes weird shit would happen with it like how Anton’s computer glitches out sometimes after I tried to download SONIC ADVENTURE FREE NO VIRUS one time (PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM that I did that I told him I wanted to use his computer to look at next week’s weather forecast onthe web) But then THE REALLY EVIL SCARY STUFF STARTED HAPPENING!@!! So after the credits of this episode ended the new episode began and the intro played out as normal with Count Duckula’s origin story and stuff. Quite tame, really. But then… BUT THEN!!!! When the music started playing the screen started darkening which honestly I thought was a problem with the TV or VCR but then when Count Duckula’s handsome visage graced the screen again with the part of the song talking about how he’s a vegetarian…

HIS EYES TURNED SOULLESS BLACK AND STARTED BLEEDING HYPERREALISTIC RED BLOOD!!!!!! EVEN HIS FAKE TEETH WERE COVERED WITH HYPERREALISTIC RED BLOOD!!!!!

And then … you’ll never guess what happened next, dear reader…… The song stopped and Count Duckula said to ME DIRECTLY “No one will ever believe you if you tell them that this happened” and he laughed and the screen went black. I was petrified with fear and terror, and I slowly crept towards the VCR to eject the tape. As I pressed the EJECT button, the VHS tape did not come out… instead the slot began to drip with blood and it got everywhere on my hand and the carpet and it was quite frankly really nasty and disgusting. And then I passed out and woke up in my room, revealing this to merely be JUST A DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!